I remember sitting in poetry classes in high school, reading Shakespeare and thinking: “This is bullshit”. I believed him to be purposefully contrary and wondered whether he actually had anything important to say, or whether he just took very simplistic thoughts and disguised them in iambic pentameter to make them seem more profound. I pictured him sitting at his desk, quill propped up on his pot of ink while he used both hands to count out stressed and unstressed syllables, musing to himself about how clever it was going to make him look. I’d get irritated with teachers who claimed significance in “what the poet intended” because I imagined that most of the time the reason the poet chose to write that something was blue, for instance, was because of how many words rhyme with blue. Perhaps the poet would have chosen orange if it rhymed with anything.
Every now and then I find myself weepy when I think about how once I’ve finished my upcoming masters, I have to choose a job. The fact that “professional Disney karaokeist” and “cheese sampler” aren’t feasible (or should I say cheesible hahahaha I’m so sorry) make the decision all the more difficult. So, instead of using the next hour to productively do some research into fields of potential interest, I’m rather going to make a list of jobs that definitely aren’t for me.
Great Scott! This is heavy. October 21, 2015, was the year Marty McFly arrived in the future in a time-travelling DeLorean from his time, 1985. It’s now a year past that date and I simply cannot express how disappointed I am that I’m not riding a bright pink hoverboard around. With that said, I’m also very relieved Jaws 19 isn’t a reality. Who knows – maybe 2016 has been such a disastrous year because we are missing some very important developments… Like self-lacing shoes!
A common trend of “modern-living” involves obsessing over trivial problems. Most reality TV shows will show us this. It’s a perfectly normal thing to do, it’s just how things work – when you’re in a rush, you’re unlikely to worry about Cecil the Lion when you have no clean socks. Yet, with Disney Princesses, we seem to have a preoccupation with the big problems, and ignore the little ones.
Picture me. Young, naïve, innocent. It’s about 2 months ago. I’m trawling the Exclusive Books website (as I do for fun, sometimes) and see that the new Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, is available for pre-ordering. I squeal in anticipation. I order it.
Loads of people will tell you that they’ve been die-hard Pokémon fans since they were just kids with a Gameboy, and that the release of the Pokémon GO app has been the best thing that’s happened to them this year bar Melania Trump’s recital of Michelle Obama speech.
Tiger Tiger is a nightclub franchise. The one I regarded as my local watering hole when I was in my first and second year at UCT is the one in Claremont, Cape Town. It was closed, for a number of reasons, apparently, and is in the process of trying to relaunch.