We’ve got to stop calling girls crazy. All of us need to stop it – girls and boys. “Crazy” is not an emotion or a feeling. “Crazy” is a type of behaviour. It also implies a lack of reasoning, a state of insanity, an inability to be rational. It suggests that every emotional reaction is unreasoned.
Why “crazy”? Why not sad? Hurt? Confused? Angry? Disappointed? We say “crazy” as opposed to dealing with the actual emotion at hand, so that there’s no chance that it could be our fault. Calling someone hurt puts responsibility on the hurter, whereas calling someone crazy just means that they randomly decided to start behaving psychotically.
You might be thinking, at this stage, “boys act crazy sometimes too” and yeah, preach, this is true. But how many times have you heard a guy called “crazy”, and how many times have you heard them be told they’re “acting like a girl”. SHIT, MAN, IMAGINE THAT. I mean, if there’s one way to scare a boy back into his man-make-fire, man-don’t-cry box it’s to… dare I even say it here, so publically… tell them their behaviour is similar to that of a girl. The number of times I’ve heard the phrase “you throw like a girl” supports that being “like a girl” is offensive. I know plenty of girls who throw really well. In fact, next time, what I’d suggest you say when someone throws badly is: “you throw like Meg” – it’ll get the point across much more effectively, and is actually true.
I’m not, for a second, saying that girls don’t have the capacity to behave irrationally at a certain time of month. Please note this distinction right now. Bruh, my friends keep a calendar so that they know to avoid me when the painters are in. Catch me while I’m sailing the red sea and you’ll see a side of me you didn’t think existed – that’s if you can actually see me behind the mountains of potatoes I’m consuming whilst weeping and lamenting on the good old days when I was skinny. But THOSE ARE MY HORMONES. This is an exception when there’s actually nothing, biologically, I can do about it. Do you think I purposefully eat like a walrus once a month? Do you think I enjoy being mean to small children? Or that I meant to kick my puppy that one time? Or that I intentionally shout profanities at innocent drivers, as if they were personally responsible for the development of the female anatomy? I’d be very interested to see how boys behaved if their ovaries felt like they were being heated by a bunch of exhausted labourers chucking coal into a furnace while Satan yells: “MORE! It needs to be HOTTER”.
Now, if my male readers have stuck around after I started referencing my ovaries, I suspect they’re thinking: “it’s not all men”. Ya, well, EXACTLY. Of course it’s not. Firstly, I don’t have the time, energy or resources to ask every boy if they think girls’ behaviour can be “crazy” at times. Secondly, we are logical human beings that can assume there are boys that don’t think this. But if you are able to acknowledge that not all boys are quick to brand all girls with an iron of judgement, labelling their emotional responses as unreasoned, then you are surely able to acknowledge that you can’t say with any authority that “all girls are crazy”.
You know what? I will agree that sometimes girls can be ridiculous – whether it’s freaking out because their boyfriend didn’t reply to their Whatsapps, or because they went for lunch with another girl, or because they refuse to post a million Instagram posts of them lunging. But boys can be just as ridiculous – because moments of irrationality, dear reader, are a human quality, not a female one. Irrationality is super annoying – I get that – but just stop using the word “crazy” as an easy “out” when dealing with situations. Blanket terms only make it more difficult to differentiate between what’s actually justified and what isn’t.
Heck, I’ve caught myself calling other girls crazy, which is possibly even worse, because I make it OK for guys to say it. It also suggests that I’m putting myself above other women – as if I’m somehow the only one who isn’t crazy. Girls have accepted this alleged personality trait and this just makes them so terrified of appearing crazy that they stop standing up for themselves, or speaking up when they’re feeling something compromising to a relationship. Yes, that’s right, we have actually bullied girls to a point where they’re scared of being like the other ones.
Once we’ve generally stopped incorrectly assuming that a surplus of emotions equate an absence of logic, we then need stop talking about “crazy ex’s”. All this does is take the responsibility off of the other person in the relationship – break ups don’t happen because of one person. It isn’t possible. If you feel like you can prove me wrong – speak up. Someone doesn’t just “go crazy” or “start acting crazy” with absolutely no motive, unless it’s a clinical mental illness, in which case fuck you for joking about such a serious topic. Maybe she started acting differently because things weren’t working? Or because she felt insecure? Or because she hadn’t complained about anything, ever, for fear of seeming crazy and then everything that ever hurt her exploded out of her like when you leave something saucy in the microwave for too long?
I cry when I get angry. It is possibly one of the most annoying, disabling things that can happen during an argument. I once ran off the stage during a debate against Sacred Heart because someone’s point of information made me so angry and panicked that I burst into tears. Every time I went up to debate thereafter, my team would (jokingly, obviously) yell “someone get the tissues”. I assure you – these tears are entirely involuntary. They aren’t emotionally manipulative, nor are they a tactic, nor are they a sign of my giving up or admitting defeat. It just happens when I’m angry. It’s crippling, because it usually happens at the juiciest part of an argument, at which point, the person I’m arguing with refuses to continue because it’s “not fair because I’m crying”. Suddenly, everything I’m saying is irrelevant because of something I can’t help. Oh and obviously because I’m crazy. That too. I’m wrong and I’m crazy. Because only wrong, crazy people cry. Not because people can be both emotional and right at the same time. And just like that, the tears help us lose track of what I’m actually saying.
I’m happy to finish off by acknowledging that people who call girls “crazy” aren’t making an intentional attempt to disrespect or diminish female emotions when they do it. It’s cavalier most of the time. “That bitch cray”, folks might say. “Stop acting crazy”. “This is crazy”. I’m not saying it’s intentional, I’m just saying it’s damaging. If it doesn’t stop, we are not only going to remove a women’s right to be unhappy about something, but we’re also going to forget how to tell the difference between genuine unreasonable behaviour, and behaviour we’d just “rather not deal with”.